Beach Burns “Oh my GOD, my BURNING FLESH!!!” The sand was so fucking hot. Like, unbelievably hot. I tried to make it across the never-ending beach to the water, but it came to the point where I had to take to my butt and hold my blistering feet in the air like a bug that can’t flip itself over. I was trying very hard to not let any of this scorching sand get into my lady parts as my shorts were, well… […]

Categories: The Narrator, Uncategorized • Tags: American Spirits, Barbra Streisand, Bubba Gump Shrimp Co, California, Hoda Kotb, James Brolin, Malibu, Paul Rudd, Santa Monica Pier, Sherman Oaks, Walmart, yellow